DO'S AND DON'T'S FOR 2012

Avoid anyone who tells you “I’m going to be honest with you.” The unsaid message is that the person is a professional liar.

The best way to defuse a marital argument is to reply: “The trouble with you is you don’t make enough allowances for my shortcomings.”

Avoid people who preach the coming Apocalypse. They are in it for the money. On an observable scale it is demonstrably already here as ten billion people, more or less, will die in the next sixty years. Not sudden, in our view, but a blink of an eye in the grand scheme of things.

Self-publishing authors: Sign all your books. It costs nothing and makes people happy. And there’s a kick in seeing your ten dollar signed book on e-bay for forty-nine dollars.

Avoid people who think climate change is a joke. People who think Congress is doing a good job. People who think Shariah Law is our biggest threat. People who think we never did go to the moon. People who think 9/11 was a conspiracy. People who are sure Barack Obama is a Muslim (as if that should matter. We let Christians be president).

Don’t stand in long lines for anything. A terrible way to spend the minutes and hours of a precious lifetime.

Recognize cranks for what they are. Bemoan the downside of the Internet, which gave them a bullhorn they didn’t have before (And I mean bull).

Spend some days not watching television. It’s unhealthy, and half the time someone is trying to sell you something - and the span between programs of real interest, and educational, grows ever longer.

Don’t do stuff because it’s the thing to do. Watching Super Bowl fits the category. Go to church only if.... well, I can’t think of a good reason.

Walk. Don’t run. Modern man is not built for running. Running is okay if you live in the Kalahari and have to run down an impala so your family gets to eat dinner.

Think about lower back pain before running to the doctor. They love treating this malady, don’t really know what causes it and invariably prescribe rest and ibuprophen, which usually works.

Never, ever allow anyone to strap you into a therapy machine. The machine doesn’t know poop about you, nor does it care.

Keep a balance between doing things with your mind and doing things with your hands. The palpable joy that comes with creating something solid and beautiful is seldom matched in other pursuits.

Get enough exercise but don’t overdo. Women who live relatively sedentary lives seem to live the longest.